oops

I got on just now, thinking to check my response to the letter D...only to realize that I didn't have one...ugh, I thought I had added it last nite...so...let me work on it...it is still the 4th right LOL...

C=Change

Can't say I have been able to master this...but I can say that over the past three years there has been plenty of change in my life. 

Change is just a normal part of life:

weather changes

work changes

people change

health changes

You would think with things constantly changing around us that we would be use to it.

Some changes are so small that we may not even notice it...like the 5 lbs you lost, or the extra gray hair that has planted itself among the others.

Then some changes are life altering. Some for the good some for the bad.

I have had plenty of changes. Some of both. 

Over the last three years, I have been told things that I would never have imagined.

I have seen my kids make major changes in their lives. 

Now speaking as a mother, changes that I thought I was ready for, (because as we all know, that is what kids do...you train them, instill in them the traits that you want them to carry thru life, things that will help them) but quickly found out that I wasn't nearly as ready as I thought

 

 From the moment you find out they are on their way, there are changes happening. 

They soon are ready to take that flight, spread their wings and have their own families. 

Can't say that I was ready for that change. 

I would have my moments of doubt, "they don't need me any more", "I will never see them any more" (ok, so never is an over exaggeration ). Those changes I didn't want...

But, as they find their own footing, I found that the changes weren't as huge as I had thought..

and in those changes, I actually found good. 

I have two beautiful new daughters, that I know love my boys. 

I have 5 awesome grandchildren..who brought a change in the amount of love I get to continue giving

So, as afraid of those changes I was...

I got some good..that I get to enjoy. 

Then not too long ago, another change came. I watched as my Dad grew older. Another change that you know is happening..but seems like a shock when you actually see it happening before your eyes. 

As I watched him slipping away, I realized more changes were coming. 

Saying goodbye those last few days, I found myself realizing that some changes are never easy. 

So...I got this, I know that changes, as hard as they may seem, can have a silver lining. I am not afraid...I can face them. 

What? My youngest is now preparing herself for some changes of her own?? Nothing drastic..but....

Changes none the less..

So comes that gnawing, unknowing fear of 

CHANGES

B=Blogging

Blogging

I always wanted to keep a diary. But, seems that when I get one started, I only get so far. I find that am doubting that what I am writing is of importance. I mean what if something were to happen to me, and someone found my diary?

Would they laugh?

 

Would they shake their heads and wonder why I even thought what was written was important?

 

The same with blogging. 

 

I don't know how many times I have started...then stopped. More times than I care to count. 

I so enjoy reading blogs of so many of you...I find myself laughing, crying, thinking. 

 

Maybe I should start by not trying to write a whole story, maybe just a thought...

 

Who knows....I might just turn into a blogger like some of you!

A=Adventure

Adventures

As I sat and looked at these little feet. 

I wondered how many adventures they would find themselves on. 

Adventures that will bring tears...things that will not turn out the way they hope. Friends that will fade out of their lives. 

Adventures that will lead them to places they could only dream of. That they will see things that will hold such beauty. 

Adventures that will bring a smile to their face and happiness to their hearts. 

I hope for the them the last. 

I hope their smiles out weigh their tears, 

that the good times out weigh the bad,

I hope that when the opportunity comes, that they will not be afraid to take that first step..

One that will lead to many great 

ADVENTURES

Go ahead...

So I rolled out of bed...ready, ok not so ready to face this day. Stumbling thru the house, heading to the kitchen to make the coffee...( I don't even drink coffee). Though the mood wasn't bad then, it has started to take a dark turn. So dark, that I find myself irritating me!

I am not sure that the deal is...maybe it is just an average day. Orrrrr maybe, just maybe......it is

                                                        GOOD          Versus          EVIL
I usually don't feel like this..not saying that it doesn't ever happen. But...I can usually shake it easier. Today I seem to be struggling with it.

COULD IT BE: that there is sooo much to do around here? LOL and yet here I sit, blogging about it.

COULD IT BE: that the people around you that are constantly doing stupid stuff, so that all you can do is

COULD IT BE: I am just feeling overwhelmed, kinda like the Hoover Dam, that might have a slight crack..and no gum to be found?

All I can say is I hope if you cross my path today...that u approach me with caution...and that you will be lucky and catch me in a moment that will cause you no pain or harm.....otherwise

Until then...I will keep working on the attitude, I am pretty sure there is a 2 x 4 around here somewhere....

In the meantime, there are dishes to be done, laundry that needs washed, dust bunnies that need slayed, people to be picked up and dropped off, and appointments to be attended.

                                                        Hi Ho Silver and away!!!!!!!!!!!!

The stew pot of life...

Life has soooo many things to throw your way.Ya ever have a day when you feel overwhelmed, truly blessed and confused all at the same time?? Ya know throw our hand up, cry for happiness, and spit nails?

I think my pot has been totally full over the last few weeks. But, I think that I am learning somethings along the process. Yep, an OLD dog can definitely learn something new. Some I figured out pretty quick..others, well they are a work in process. (some may be a very long process!)

I am learning to remember to say thank you when God answers a prayer. With my Dad, he is recovering well. And I am so very thankful for that. Made sure to say thank you. Most recent prayer answered was with my youngest son and his wife. As some of you may know they lost a baby last year, and they are expecting in November. On her last doctor visit the doctor was concerned feeling that she was measuring too small. She is 34 weeks, and dr thought she was only measuring 32. So she ordered an ultra sound. Maria ( daughter in law) is a very private person. But this time she invited me along to the ultra sound. (I knew she was worried, though she tried to act like it was no big deal). My son was surprised when he showed up and I was there. He asked if I were there to support them. So as we sat with baited breath as she measured and logged her findings...each of us afraid to talk, hoping that nothing would be found wrong..and as I sat there saying a prayer, asking that everything would be ok. When it was done, she went over the findings and told us that she didn't see anything to be worried about. That she was only measuring about a week shy. Which is not unusual..she said that Willow's (the baby) bones etc, measured right where they should. You could almost feel us all start breathing again. As we were walking out, I had to chide myself. I had to offer Him a thank you. Funny how we so easily ask Him to make everything ok, but we forget to let Him know we are grateful.

Now on to the truly blessed. Watching my kids venture into their own lives..seeing their happiness...ok, sometimes they are not always happy, but they are learning to make their way thru it..all a part of life. Getting to enjoy the additions to our family..this year we will have 5 grandkids to spoil at Christmas! Nana is super excited...Papa is just seeing $$$ in his eyes. lol. Ya ever feel so very unworthy of all that you have been blessed with?

Now to the confused (spit the nails). There are some people out there that are just so very confusing. It seems that no matter what they just can't be happy with what they have. Seems they are always comparing. I am dealing with one of those kinds of people right now. I am really struggling with it. I am not use to people who actually seem to keep track of what you do for others. It seems that no matter what you do for them, they want more. I love doing and giving to others...but kind of takes the joy and want to out of it when they actually demand it. SO...I am working on it. I find myself guarded when around this person..I hate feeling that way, because the relationship is an important one. I don't know maybe my being guarded is the problem. Maybe it shows thru. So I am trying to figure out how to fix that...it will take work. I find it hard, this person is constantly "joking" about how I fall short of what they expect...a joke now and then is ok, but it is a constant. Ok, enough complaining...just send some good thoughts, that I will be able to help this person get past this selfish, low self esteem way of life and help them to see that they are loved no less than those around them, and treated no differently.

It is a cool blustery day....fall is in the air!! I love fall! (not so crazy bout the ice in the season to follow, yep I worry about my loved ones that have to travel to work in it.)

Over all, I am very thankful for my stew pot that has been placed before me...just gotta sometimes work on the seasonings...and the temperature.

Goals

Well, that is the plan. I mean I can't say that mind thought will change. I could get bugged by my ear ache that has been around for over a week. (oh, it is improving, but still can't sleep because the pressure on it when I lay down keeps me awake.) Or I could hear that someone is talking badly about me...knowing the person, it is not really surprising. But, hey, I know how I treat them, and ALL that I do for them. So, their problem not mine. Or, I could realize that I had my grocery list all written down, and now I can't find it!

But, nope, gonna try to fill all of the above. What, you are still laughing?

Ok, I might make it, if I call it an early day.

Oh wait, I forgot..my ear hurts when I lay down..

Since I got behind..again. Thought I would let u in on my being good project. I am wanting to get back to you all later on today.

I will let ya know how I did on the being nice..etc.

Til then!

Alone? Not...

Do you ever feel like you are all alone when it comes to bad times? Well, you are not. Something that lately I have had to remind myself of.

I believe the ol devil gets his foot in any way he can. We have gone from our washer croaking ( I know, nothing big), to our van telling us that we have been saying hang on for far too long, to my Mom in Law leaving this world behind, to last nite my Dad being taken to the hospital, having a possible mini stroke. To my heading to the Dr. today, thinking I have an ear infection...ugh.

As hard as it is sometimes to remember, God knows what is going on...He has this..and He doesn't need my help. He just needs me to give it to Him. Now, did I say that I have that one down? buuuahhh, are you kidding me? Not a chance. I got that worry wart gene, it was passed down naturally.

So when you feel like you are alone in a fight, just know that there is someone else out there going thru the same thing, or something harder..but more than that..know that He's got this. You are never alone.

I will keep ya posted...off to try and get things done...=)

Good Neighbors

It has been a long couple of weeks...but we are moving on thru them. Ended up renting a car (good thing we get the family discount!) which we returned today.

My youngest son was gone to schooling for the Army this past two weeks..and I went out to do laundry and hang out with Jenna while she was helping them out. We took a walk around town...I was feeling like we had gone back in time...or maybe we were visiting Mayberry..lol. People would wave and smile...some stopped to chat. Don't see that very often any more. We are a people that push the button making our garage doors go up, pull in and close it behind us. Maybe a lil more of the knowing your neighbor would change the way things seem to be going.

All that to say, we have been blessed with some pretty awesome neighbors. Tonite there was a knock on the door. Our neighbor stood there with a big bag..she said after your past couple of weeks, we just wanted you to have some comfort foods. So she handed me the bag, said Enjoy..there was a huge container of pulled pork, a huge container of pasta salad, and a big pan of brownies.

How often do we take time out of our day, busy as they can sometimes be to think about what others may be going thru? What would it be like if we actually tried to make that a habit?

Missed some days...

I have a good reason this time.....

This is my beautiful mother in law...She went home to heaven on Sept 4. We were in Michigan for a week.

Home now, and from one thing to another. Van is acting up, so have a rental. Ugh, so not ready for a car payment again. A headache since Tuesday. Washer still not working...oh the list could go on and on. BUT....gonna focus on the good...now if I could just find it.

Here is something good!! I love this picture! =) She is a joy! I love her so very much...can't wait to meet our two new ones on the way...won't be long..first one is due Nov 4!! Then a few short weeks later the next! Did I mention that Nana gets to babysit them?? I am soooo excited!! Of course the hubby thinks I am crazy!! lol..

Another good.....

This girl will be returning home....she has been taking care of these two....

For these two..

While Josh has been gone for two week schooling for the Army. Well, taking care of them while Maria was at work...by getting them off to school and being there when they get home, a lil help with the housework and dinner prep. I am ready for her to be back here.

Well, I think I will go stand under the hot shower water...maybe that will help with the headache.

Until later...