Life has soooo many things to throw your way.Ya ever have a day when you feel overwhelmed, truly blessed and confused all at the same time?? Ya know throw our hand up, cry for happiness, and spit nails?
I think my pot has been totally full over the last few weeks. But, I think that I am learning somethings along the process. Yep, an OLD dog can definitely learn something new. Some I figured out pretty quick..others, well they are a work in process. (some may be a very long process!)
I am learning to remember to say thank you when God answers a prayer. With my Dad, he is recovering well. And I am so very thankful for that. Made sure to say thank you. Most recent prayer answered was with my youngest son and his wife. As some of you may know they lost a baby last year, and they are expecting in November. On her last doctor visit the doctor was concerned feeling that she was measuring too small. She is 34 weeks, and dr thought she was only measuring 32. So she ordered an ultra sound. Maria ( daughter in law) is a very private person. But this time she invited me along to the ultra sound. (I knew she was worried, though she tried to act like it was no big deal). My son was surprised when he showed up and I was there. He asked if I were there to support them. So as we sat with baited breath as she measured and logged her findings...each of us afraid to talk, hoping that nothing would be found wrong..and as I sat there saying a prayer, asking that everything would be ok. When it was done, she went over the findings and told us that she didn't see anything to be worried about. That she was only measuring about a week shy. Which is not unusual..she said that Willow's (the baby) bones etc, measured right where they should. You could almost feel us all start breathing again. As we were walking out, I had to chide myself. I had to offer Him a thank you. Funny how we so easily ask Him to make everything ok, but we forget to let Him know we are grateful.
Now on to the truly blessed. Watching my kids venture into their own lives..seeing their happiness...ok, sometimes they are not always happy, but they are learning to make their way thru it..all a part of life. Getting to enjoy the additions to our family..this year we will have 5 grandkids to spoil at Christmas! Nana is super excited...Papa is just seeing $$$ in his eyes. lol. Ya ever feel so very unworthy of all that you have been blessed with?
Now to the confused (spit the nails). There are some people out there that are just so very confusing. It seems that no matter what they just can't be happy with what they have. Seems they are always comparing. I am dealing with one of those kinds of people right now. I am really struggling with it. I am not use to people who actually seem to keep track of what you do for others. It seems that no matter what you do for them, they want more. I love doing and giving to others...but kind of takes the joy and want to out of it when they actually demand it. SO...I am working on it. I find myself guarded when around this person..I hate feeling that way, because the relationship is an important one. I don't know maybe my being guarded is the problem. Maybe it shows thru. So I am trying to figure out how to fix that...it will take work. I find it hard, this person is constantly "joking" about how I fall short of what they expect...a joke now and then is ok, but it is a constant. Ok, enough complaining...just send some good thoughts, that I will be able to help this person get past this selfish, low self esteem way of life and help them to see that they are loved no less than those around them, and treated no differently.
It is a cool blustery day....fall is in the air!! I love fall! (not so crazy bout the ice in the season to follow, yep I worry about my loved ones that have to travel to work in it.)
Over all, I am very thankful for my stew pot that has been placed before me...just gotta sometimes work on the seasonings...and the temperature.
What you will find here will be a journey. I think that as I grow older I am growing into the real me. I spent my life always making sure that I never did anything that would cause anyone to not like me...I agreed even when I knew I didn't really agree...I still like to be liked..but more and more it is becoming more of "this is me..I will be your friend for life, regardless of what you may do..but now I expect a little of that in return. I have opinions..and sometimes they will differ from yours..and I am learning that is "ok".